Xmas Work Festivities

So Yesterday we had this Holiday sweets potluck at work. Since they've taken away our Christmas party and have tried to take as much cheer out of us as humanly possible lately.
I helped in the planning process and other than some scheduling issues I think everything went pretty well. Here's some pictures.

The Cake I baked: (Amaretto Cake with Green Food Dye in a Christmas Tree Bundt Shape)


We decorated by hanging up Stockings with people's names on them (had them from years gone by) and we had a fake tree that we printed out pictures of everyone and hung them up like ornaments. Came out pretty good looking if I do say so myself.

Then we did both Secret Santa and White Elephant. Secret Santa I'm happy to say went off without a hitch. Everyone remembered, no one was left out. It was all good.
Now... White Elephant on the other hand I wasn't nearly as pleased with. Most people took it seriously this year... There were wonderful things under the tree... An ITunes gift card, Chair/Back Massager, Afghan Disney Blanket, Electronic Sudoku, etc etc... There was really only 1 gift that ended up being opened that no one wanted... Guess who ended up with it...
That just SCREAMS Me doesn't it?... /sigh... Maybe next year.

More Stuff Should Require Licenses

Computers should require licenses to use them. Imagine if Cars didn't require a written test and had help lines?

General Motors doesn't have a "help line" for people who don't know how to drive, because people don't buy cars like they buy computers -- but imagine if they did...

HELPLINE: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "I got in my car and closed the door, and nothing happened!"

HELPLINE: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?"

CUSTOMER: "What's an ignition?"

HELPLINE: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine."

CUSTOMER: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all of these technical terms just to use my car?"

Second Call:
HELPLINE: "General Motors HelpLine, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "My car ran fine for a week, and now it won't go anywhere!"

HELPLINE: "Is the gas tank empty?"

CUSTOMER: "Huh? How do I know!?"

HELPLINE: "There's a little gauge on the front panel, with a needle, and markings from 'E' to 'F.' Where is the needle pointing?"

CUSTOMER: "It's pointing to 'E.' What does that mean?"

HELPLINE: "It means that you have to visit a gasoline vendor, and purchase some more gasoline. You can install it yourself, or pay the vendor to install it for you."

CUSTOMER: "What!?" I paid $12,000. for this car! Now you tell me that I have to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes with everything built in!"

Keeping a Healthy Level of Insanity During the Holidays

Getting bored during this Holiday season? Especially at work? Try some of these to keep your insanity level at an all time high =)

At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses
on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if
they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise
your voice.

Insist that your e mail address is:
Cylon-Model6@companyname.com or
Elvis-the-King@companyname.com.

Every time someone asks you to do something,
ask if they want fries with that.

Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little
synchronized chair dancing.

Put your garbage can on your desk and label it
"IN."

Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once
everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions,
switch to espresso.

In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual
favors.'

Reply to everything someone says with, "That's
what you think."

Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with
the prophecy."

Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness
level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others
that you like it that way.

Dont use any punctuation ever

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically
after they answer.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't
rhyme.

Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly
the same outfits. Wear them one day after your
boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss
is of the opposite gender.)

Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them
what you're doing. For example, "If anyone needs
me, I'll be in the bathroom, in Stall #3."

Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a
tape of jungle sounds all day.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't
attend their party because you're not in the mood.

Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies.

Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything.

Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling
name, Rock Hard.

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream
"I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!"

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the
parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives, they're
loose!"

Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that
bother me, its the voices in your head that do."

Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy,
we are going to have to let one of you go."

Every time you see a broom, yell "Honey, your mother
is here!"

Latest Poem

Hey Guys... Got inspired today to write a poem. I'm putting up some pictures that I felt matched the mood of it. I just found these on the internet so I don't mean to take credit for anyone's photography. Once I have a real camera I'm going to try to take pictures of my own.

"Abandon"

I remember when I had a home,
all I wanted was to wander and roam.
But I escaped and now I'm free...
yet my home is all I wish to see.

I miss the warmth and the love,
I miss the 4walls and the roof above.
Being out here I thought was my dream...
Just don't understand now what can it mean.


Alone in the world just feels so wrong,
can't go home when there's nowhere you belong.
No one to love me no one to care...
I need to show I need to share.

At first I felt angry and double crossed,
but now just so alone and so lost.
Laying out here the world seems empty and cold...
And my old life I should never have sold.

Whatever I did that made you let me go,
I am so sorry if only you could know.
I see now that it's family not freedom I lack...
Please won't you find me and bring me back?

Thanksgiving

This was Nathan's First Thanksgiving. He seemed to have a good ol' time. Got to play with a rubber turkey leg and get snuck mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, etc.

I did alot of cooking. The turkey came out delicious with the rub I've perfected in the last couple years.

Only problem this year was a little incident with forgetting to Bake the Pumpkin Pie... OOPS! But at least we had yummy Apple Pie Ala Mode Ice Cream Pie from Baskin Robins. mmm.