Keeping a Healthy Level of Insanity During the Holidays

Getting bored during this Holiday season? Especially at work? Try some of these to keep your insanity level at an all time high =)

At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses
on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if
they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise
your voice.

Insist that your e mail address is:
Cylon-Model6@companyname.com or
Elvis-the-King@companyname.com.

Every time someone asks you to do something,
ask if they want fries with that.

Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little
synchronized chair dancing.

Put your garbage can on your desk and label it
"IN."

Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once
everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions,
switch to espresso.

In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual
favors.'

Reply to everything someone says with, "That's
what you think."

Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with
the prophecy."

Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness
level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others
that you like it that way.

Dont use any punctuation ever

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically
after they answer.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't
rhyme.

Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly
the same outfits. Wear them one day after your
boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss
is of the opposite gender.)

Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them
what you're doing. For example, "If anyone needs
me, I'll be in the bathroom, in Stall #3."

Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a
tape of jungle sounds all day.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't
attend their party because you're not in the mood.

Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies.

Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything.

Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling
name, Rock Hard.

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream
"I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!"

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the
parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives, they're
loose!"

Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that
bother me, its the voices in your head that do."

Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy,
we are going to have to let one of you go."

Every time you see a broom, yell "Honey, your mother
is here!"